Though I can’t stand the heat now I’ll soon miss the rays of summer beating down on my forhead heating up the drips of sweat rolling down my face. When I’ts warm and the sun is shining it encourages everyone to just sit and be.
Though maybe I could think this way about every season whether I’m letting the rain pour over my face or sitting on a bed of snow filling my lungs with chilled air. I think I should strive for this. To always be more aware of my surroundings.
We all strive for something more. Most of us do this by indulging in things that give us a rush of pleasure but never make us happy. What makes us happy is often very simple but requires us to work on who we are and get to the core of ourselves. I think the thing that makes me happy is to just be where i am, to exist in a moment and notice how amazing the world is.
Some bands out there are amazingly talented, so talented that you have to think and listen carefully to understand it fully. I think most people listen to music and think, “oh, I like this” and “I don’t like this”. I listen to music with the attitude of, “I would like to understand where this is coming from?” and, “what is this song trying to get across?”. Songs are like personalities, separated across an album (or maybe a whole mood is set across an album?). Some notes and words urge to tell stories and open your eyes to the unknown. Many express the fundamental feelings of the loving human heart, and many express the complicated desires of a disturbed or selfish mind. In the end there leaves another section of songs that are created just because they want to live and be. They represent existence.
Things have been good lately. I’ve been feeling like the house I have lived in my whole life is starting to feel like my home. This may be anticipation building up because of a child on the way and with school ahead.
I’ve decided on a profession in the culinary arts. I’m shooting for culinary school this fall. I am pretty pumped for it, I’m hoping to learn a lot. The get up for the classes is more or less pretty ridiculous. I somehow don’t think those outfits are easy to cook in… Seems uncomfortable. Sara told me they aren’t bad. I am not quite sure how she knows this, but whatever. hah…
I’m seventeen and my girlfriend is now pregnant. This is something very overwhelming, but at the same time I’m feeling very blessed. I feel like this is where I need to be, Like this is supposed to happen. I love Sara and I know we can do this together. We both know we can handle anything together.
I’m sure I appear to be an average teen parent to the rest of the world. This isn’t a concern of mine though. I’m sticking around to parent, because I love Sara. And I guess that’s what separates me from the rest of the teen fathers. well, that’s what separates it for me anyway. lulz. There are many things about this that are frightening. Mainly fears of my shortcomings or that I will screw this up. But on the other side of the coin, I’m happy to be having a child, and I can’t wait to be a father. I hope I can have plenty of time to reflect on what it means to be a good father before this child is born. Many people who I discuss the whole “baby” thing with often react with no other emotions then pity and sadness for me, repeating, “I’m so sorry” over and over again. but that’s not how I feel. I’m happy about this, Sara and I are very happy about this, and for good reason.
May require that you read “The GED For Dummies” depending on age selection. Lulz.
I have been looking at bikes recently. I really want to get a fixed gear for riding around Missoula. I’ve always wanted a bike that I felt like I had a lot of control over. With a fixed gear you can go forwards and backwards. You are not able to coast. If you are going down a hill, you slow down the bike by slowing down the speed of your legs instead of doing the whole riding and sudden breaks to slow you down thing. Which is nice. It will take awhile to get used to I’m sure.
I think one of the best things to do for yourself every day is to try and imagine all the things that happen without your knowing. Bugs crawling over a closed flower for example…
Sad things…
Things full of joy…
Funny things…
Things off in the galaxies…
If we don’t realize all the wonders around us. How can we truly live?
So, apparently while I was gone I built up a lot of artistic energy. Recorded a whole song, did a bunch of picture editing and now I really have been wanting to write something. I will post a preview of the song soon. Sounds pretty amazing. With making this new song, I really hope playing music works out for me. Knowing it’s not the most glamour filled life, but I just want people to enjoy the music I take part in. I don’t want money. I want to help people. Soon enough I will be in Denver to play music with a good friend. I believe things should just take right off. I’m looking forward to leaving Montana. There is not much for me here as far as opportunity goes. I love my family and I do hope to see them often. Montana is not where I need to be though. There’s things I have to do and places I have to go….. Blasted “”American School”". I need to finish my stuff up. In the meantime here’s some pics
I’m finding myself way busy in Illinois. Go figure. I haven’t kept up with my blog at all. Seeing as I don’t write enough when I’m not doing much. Go figure I suck it up even more when I’m really busy. Having friends and around all the time and a girlfriend around partially may have something to do with it. So first 3 days I’m here, no power. A storm really wrecked the place right before i arrived. I still had fun though. I’m like “who needs power”. But that obviously doesn’t work out well when “I” like everyone else relies on it for many things. Other then that nothing has happened really. I’ve had a great time. Hope to get some photos up soon.
I think way too much. I over think, and then while I am over thinking I under think. Confusing, right? Often is the brain of someone who actually uses their brain. Just a thought (ahah).
So yesterday I wanted to make an awesome stencil. It was the first face i had ever done. I had to figure out a way to use the shape of his head. So my idea was to create a shadow bad cut out around his head then i could just cut out the his eyes, nose and rigid jaw line like so. These were the amazing results. I could use no other face then the one and only Captain Picard. I hope you enjoy. If you want me to make a stencil of someone else just ask. Although I know you won’t. But that’s fine.
woo!
On Monday I am flying out to Illinois to see some family who are graduating and a certain girlfriend. =)
expect frequent posts and pictures from the south as I intend to take many photos. I actually am looking forward to flying as I have had many interesting experiences at airports. I remember being in Salt Lake and I was waiting through a 3 hour lay over. Blah… Not fun. But waiting and sitting this older guy sat next to me and chatted it up. He was kind of a hippie and very insightful. He told me about all the places he had been (which was all over the place), where he was from, his big wild farm and his 14 something dogs. I hope to run into more people and try to talk. I think talking with new people is always a good way to learn more about the world. I would hate to be confined into talking to the same “chosen” people forever (unless is was Sara). I love my friends, but I believe it helps to talk to a stranger sometimes if you happen to be in an airport. A friend of my family hitch hikes for this specific reason. There is something truly amazing about meeting someone from a different walk of life. I hope someone who reads this takes it into consideration. You never know what life has in store for you…
woo!